Many years had passed and she still felt guilty for the choices she had made. In many ways, the soul ties became painfully intense. Strongholds of guilt had randomly pop into the portals of her sanity, magnifying every bit of disgrace. In the end however, the negative feelings were redirected. Her faith would bring about an undying trust in God. He became her abiding presence, a vade mecum to all obscurity. Her God was in the process of releasing her from the pain and emptiness felt. Subsequently, He became her Lord.
If ever there was a description of what an emotional battle consisted of, it would be ”random thoughts of sheer condemnation.”
Her body, which she had once compared to rubies— priceless gems, far more valuable than diamonds, no longer seemed precious to her. Throughout the years, the shame she wore evolved into lies. And those lies germinated, causing her to believe that the multiple relational ties she had encountered over the years had tainted her ruby—one unworthy of being accepted and loved. Conversely, her Heavenly Father had never beheld her this way. His lavishing love for her proved too great.
On a typical day, she would go to work and periodically meet with her three girlfriends. One evening they made plans for a night out. They would often go to the Rustler’s Seafood and Steak House restaurant; it was their favorite. During the course of their conversation, and before the entrées were served, one girlfriend who was always jovial began to share about the church she was a member of.
“The pastor’s unique teachings”. . . she would say, always made her feel like he was talking to her personally. To add, his messages were very simplistic.
The things her girlfriend was sharing had sparked an interest. Moreover, during their conversation that evening, God had used as a vessel, her girlfriend to plant a spiritual seed.
Weeks later, she was invited to her girlfriend’s church. Somewhat eased, her descry of the christians there bought much encouragement. She thought their welcome, fellowships or social gatherings were natural. As a result, she was drawn back to, and would eventually become a part of the church family community. Three Sundays had passed. On the fifth Sunday of that month, she was invited by her girlfriend to attend another church event.
At that time, a workshop was being conducted. It was around 1:15 p.m. and a guest speaker was imparting spiritual knowledge. Evangelist Christy was teaching a lesson centered around the costly value of a godly woman’s character. The scripture reading came from Proverbs 31:10.
“A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.”
That scripture had become one of many favorites because it spoke about the greatest gemstone that a man, a husband could ever possess.
Even though she longed to someday become a wife, the enemy of her mind had barred her escape from the visions of stains of shame. From time to time, the wrestle with carnal thinking became overwhelming. However, in the midst of her emotional battle—the war between good and evil, her Heavenly Father was persistent about getting her attention. He wanted her to know that His plans for her were plans of prosperity—plans to not bring any harm, and plans to give her hope and a future.
The church fellowship had ended and she drove home. Before bed, she would read her bible. The whole chapter of Proverbs 31 was read. She then kneeled down on the side of her bed to pray.
“Father God, I stretch forth my hand to you. No other help I know . . .”
After praying and as she laid in bed, she would cry. Her tears, which were many, soaked her pillow thoroughly from top to bottom. All the while, God was listening. He wanted her to know that her struggles and the prayers of her heart were not left unheard or unanswered.
Since birth, God had collected her tears. He had placed ev’ry drop of her them in an enormous, tailor-made, crystal cistern surrounded by millions of unfathomable golden speckles. This weighty vessel sat next to His throne, which is located in the throne room of Grace—one a many Holy rooms.
This Holy room is where the prayers and tears of multiples of millions of people who are in need of God are being guarded by archangels.
More important, her Heavenly Father gently reminded her that she had been forgiven of any and every shameful act in her life. God, like His Son Jesus who died on the cross to save mankind from their sins, wanted her delivered from her own torture. And the best way He could minister to her, getting a clean and unhindered message across, was during her sleep.
Undistracted, He softly spoke into her spirit these words. . .
“My dear daughter, receive My Truth.”
“Allow me to wash clean your thoughts, for they are not mine.”
“Hear my voice and learn to recognize it. For my words are gentle, kind, encouraging and without condemnation.”